KEN REID COUNSELLING & COACHING
KEN READS
Make Sense of an Avoidant Discard That Left You Confused
Submit your story anonymously for a public psychoeducational letter reading and gain insight into the relationship dynamics that may have contributed to your pain.​
If you’ve been ghosted, discarded, blindsided, breadcrumbed, or left emotionally devastated by an emotionally unavailable or avoidant partner, you may be carrying questions that won’t let go:
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Was any of it real?
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Why did they pursue me, then pull away?
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Was this avoidant attachment, trauma, narcissistic defenses… or something else?
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Why can’t I make sense of what happened?
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Ken Reads is a public letter reading and psychoeducational commentary series where you submit your story, and Ken reads and analyzes it anonymously in a recorded episode published on:
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YouTube
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Spotify
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Podcast platforms
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Your story may help you gain clarity, while also helping thousands of others feel less alone.
What Is a Ken Reads Letter Reading?
A Ken Reads letter reading is a psychoeducational analysis of your relationship story, told through a submitted letter (500–2,000 words).
You share the emotional arc of what happened.​
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You may receive insight into:
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Avoidant attachment patterns
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Mixed signals, deactivation, and emotional withdrawal
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Trauma bonds and nervous system activation
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Plausible deniability and relational ambiguity
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Why confusing relationships can feel impossible to let go of
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The wounds or patterns the relationship may have activated in you
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Whether there are signs of insecure attachment, narcissistic defenses, or something more complex at play
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This is part relationship analysis, part psychoeducation, part public meaning-making.
Why People Submit Letters
People often come to Ken Reads when they have:
✔ Been discarded or ghosted without closure
✔ Been told they were “too much,” then abandoned
✔ Been through hot-cold dynamics or confusing push-pull relationships
✔ Been left questioning whether the relationship was real
✔ Consumed attachment content but still feel unresolved
✔ A story too nuanced for a social media comment or typical advice column
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Sometimes people submit because they want understanding.
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Sometimes they submit because they want a witness.
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Sometimes they submit because they want to help others by sharing what happened.
What Makes This Different From Counselling?
This IS:
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A public anonymous letter reading
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Educational and interpretive commentary
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A reflective psychoeducational analysis based only on the material you submit
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A podcast/video feature shared publicly
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A chance to contribute to a larger conversation about avoidant attachment trauma and relational wounds
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This is NOT:
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Private therapy
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Relationship advice
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Crisis support
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A clinical assessment
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A diagnosis of you or your former partner
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A substitute for counselling, psychotherapy, or medical care
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Important: Because this is based only on your written narrative, the analysis is inherently limited and exploratory.
Important Disclaimer
Please read before submitting.
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Ken Reads is provided for psychoeducation, reflection, validation, and public discussion. It is not counselling or therapy.
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In his capacity as an Australian counsellor, Ken does not:
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Diagnose individuals
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Provide mental health diagnoses of former partners
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Offer clinical treatment through these readings
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Provide legal, medical, or crisis advice
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While Ken may discuss whether certain attachment patterns or defenses may appear plausible, these are opinions based only on the information provided in your letter.
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No formal diagnosis is made or implied.
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Submissions are accepted at Ken’s discretion and based on availability.
Submission Guidelines
Word Count:
500–2,000 words
(±10% flexibility)
Longer submissions may incur an additional fee or may be declined.
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Please Include:
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The relationship timeline (briefly)
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The confusing or painful rupture/discard
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What feels unresolved for you
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1–3 questions you want explored
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Please Do Not Include:
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Real names (use pseudonyms)
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Identifying information
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Graphic abuse details without necessity
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Requests for emergency or crisis support
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All submissions may be edited for privacy and clarity before recording.
How it works
Step 1
Submit your anonymous letter.
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Step 2
If accepted, your story is selected for a future Ken Reads episode.
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Step 3
Ken records a public letter reading and psychoeducational analysis.
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Step 4
Your episode is published on YouTube and Spotify for you—and others—to learn from.
Listen to Past Letter Readings
​Popular topics explored in past episodes:
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Avoidant discard after deep emotional intimacy
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Ghosting after future-faking
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Why emotionally unavailable partners pursue then flee
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The difference between avoidance and narcissistic defenses
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Why trauma survivors can become bonded to confusing relationships
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Same-sex avoidant attachment dynamics
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When “it felt real” but ended in emotional erasure
Who Is This For
This may be for you if you are trying to understand:
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An avoidant breakup
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A sudden discard
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A relationship with severe mixed signals
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Emotional ambiguity that still haunts you
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Why your nervous system hasn’t moved on
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If you want private therapeutic support instead, counselling may be the better fit.
Frequently Asked Questions
Are Ken Reads letter readings therapy?
No. They are psychoeducational public letter readings, not counselling or treatment.
Can you diagnose my ex as avoidant or narcissistic?
No. Ken may discuss patterns that appear plausible based on your story, but no diagnosis is provided.
Will my identity be protected?
Yes. Letters are submitted anonymously and identifying details should be removed or changed.
How long should my letter be?
Between 500–2,000 words, with limited flexibility.
Will every letter be selected?
No. Submissions are accepted based on fit and availability.
Where will my letter reading be published?
If selected, it may be published publicly on YouTube, Spotify, and related podcast platforms.
WHAT PEOPLE SAY
"Hi Ken, just wanted to say thank you to both Amy and yourself. Not only do I feel validated, but I have such a better understanding of the relationship. I really appreciate how both of you handled my letter with empathy, kindness, and of course your expertise. I think it will be of help to so many others too."
"I have submitted a letter to 'Ken Reads'. There is a lot of evidence to support the mental health benefits of expressive writing and I think it can be even more powerful to have the writing witnessed, so I really appreciate the 'Ken Reads' segments and I think it's a powerful contribution to collective healing."
"I found Ken Reid on Facebook book and this guy has helped massively with my breakup from a avoidant. His videos and now a podcast will help anyone struggling with coming to terms and moving on . When ever I need a top up on moving on or feel low I head back to Ken Reid and it's prepared me for facing relationships in the future 😊"
"I’m listening on Instagram. Not sure where I can rate your podcast/ but want you to know they are all 10/10. I dated a dismissive avoidant and was abruptly dumped via email. Listening to you lets me know I’m not the only one. Listening to you reassures me that my long recovery is warranted. You are the best of the podcasters on relationships."
"Ken is the best coach you can find online on the subject of attachment styles! I absolutely adore him and could listen to him all day and still be amazed by the new information I seem to find out in every single episode. Really helped me put the pieces together regarding my anxious-avoidant relationship and painful breakups we’ve been through time and again. A big thank you to Ken for sharing all of these precious information with all of us!"
"Dear Ken, Sorry it took me while to respond to your letter reading.. I was speechless and it was so cathartic… hearing from a third person, that I am not crazy lol. I listened to your post for 2 weeks none stop…Especially the moment you said "Fuck Him”. I died laughing out loud every time."